So this is sort of a combination vent session/actual blog post. Anyone who has read my blog by now knows that I have Crohn’s Disease and knows the complications that come with it. (If you don’t know these things, you’ll have to read the old posts and catch up on your own. I’m too busy venting to give you a recap.) So, with the Crohn’s my “normal” is about 80%…if I’m lucky. That means, I have to go through my day and exert the same amount of mental and physical energy as my coworkers and seminary colleagues despite coming into the game at a slight disadvantage. (This might be a good time for you to learn about The Spoon Theory, if you haven’t heard of it, yet.) I usually do pretty well. But the past few weeks have not been good for me.
My 80% dropped significantly when I developed the cold/sinus problem from Hell. Then, I started having more frequent serious Crohn’s flare-ups. I’m at a point now where I’m so up to my eyeballs in backlogged reading and writing assignments that I’m about ready to just kick a cute little puppy. (Disclaimer: The author of this blog does not endorse kicking cute little puppies.) And, oh, did I mention that my birthday is tomorrow? What will I do to celebrate, you ask? Go out for breakfast, lunch and dinner with friends? Go to a movie or some fabulous outing?
Nope. I have to study for a midterm and catch up on multiple reading and writing and movie watching assignments. Oh, and did I mention that I haven’t eaten anything but saltines since breakfast because my body decided that today was a good day to reject food? Which means that my 80% is probably more like 60% – and will dip even lower tomorrow when my body realizes it didn’t get tomorrow’s fuel today…
I saw this picture on a friend’s Facebook page:
In my efforts to complete my many assignments and work responsibilities, I’ve been stuck at “I want to do it.” I’ve attempted the “I’ll try to do it” step, but I just slide back down a couple. As the saying goes, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” In my case, the flesh really is weak.
So…yeh, I guess my rant is over.